Guilty as charged

Whoa.. A whole week has passed since I wrote my last entry.. Its not like nothing has happened, and although I've been busy, you're never TOO busy to write a blog. Whenever something interesting happens, I think "huh.. I should write about this in my blog", and when I get home, I usually forget about it, and several brilliant anecdotes are lost in this manner.
"So why haven't you written about the stuff that goes on at home?" you ask.. well, to be perfectly truthful, nothing interesting really happens while I'm at home!

So anyway.. getting to my point (I have one, I promise).. I was day-dreaming earlier today.. dabbling on the egde of human reason, when it suddenly occured to me..

Paranoia rhymes with diarrhea. Not completely, but kinda.

Now this struck me as odd. The two words are spelled TOTALLY differently. A person can be paranoid, so why can't they be diarroid? Which led me to wonder.. What do you call a person who has diarrhea? Which is when I came up with the "oh-so-classic" phrase
"his reverse is in fast forward".. If ever I had to put money on anything I have said going down in the history books, this is probably gonna be it!

Which is when it struck me. I AM a little paranoid with diarrea. I realise I'm bearing my soul in a most unbecoming way to a group of, for lack of a better word, strangers, but what the hey, we all have deep dark secrets :-)
I'm actually not paranoid about diarrea, rather, just slightly obsessed with it. Well.. Not obsessed with IT (thats gross), rather, obsessed with "the concept of it".. Once, about two years ago (man.. time flies!), I was stuck in the back of a car with a friend for a couple of hours in a traffic jam, and I came up with an elaborate plot on "involuntary defecation" (a fancy way to say diarrhea), and how there's an underground industry set up by our college to recycle it and sell it to us in our canteen as food. She was not impressed by the story, nor were the 15 other people I told.
Maybe there is something wrong with me.
Maybe there's something wrong with everyone else.
Maybe there's no right and wrong.
Maybe we're all just a group of people living according to a set of guidlines which society has created and proclaimed to be the norm, and by adhering to these, we're missing out on the true value of life.
Maybe I AM weird. But I'm proud to be weird, and I celebrate it :-)

weather issues

whats the deal with the weather in new york? within the span of a month, it went from being pretty cold to ridiculously hot.
I miss bangalore, where "too hot" wasn't that hot, and "too cold" was just an excuse to don your favourite sweater.

in the beginning...

...the lord said let there be light.
over the next four days he made the land, the sea, the sky and other cool stuff.
on the 6th day, he created man in his image.
and on the seventh day, he rested.
but not before pointing his almighty finger at me and proclaiming
"Let there be stupid"

Of all the times I have made an ass of myself, and trust me, there have been a LOT of times, last night was possibly the worst... worst ever.

let me paint a little picture. Its the grad school "summer soiree".. everybody is dressed up, drinking wine, chatting, laughing and enjoying themselves in a sensible fashion.
and then there was me.

I had reached the event by about 9 along with a friend, early, by new york standards... I, being me, started drinking at 9, and by the time most of the school (now.. this is the ENTIRE graduate student population) showed up, it was around 10 or 10.30, by which time I had loosened my collar, and was decidedy "tipsy".

And then the 80s music began. Bad move Mr. DJ.

People who know me KNOW I cannot resist the sounds of the 80s, so my friend (who's equally drunk as me) start swing dancing. and jiving. and 'boogie-ing". and anything else which involves shaking your ass.
And this went on for the next 4 hours. So for FOUR WHOLE BLOODY HOURS we were the only ones dancing, with the whole school watching us.
When I woke up this morning, I felt the desperate need to transfer schools. I still haven't seen a soul all day, and I will hopefully never have to.

the irony of it all

The experiment I've been trying to do for the past month worked.
finally.
and I have to leave the lab in 2 weeks.
awesome eh?
Why does it always happen that you get good results when its too late to do anything about it?? All you "science geeks" who read my blog.. any theories?

fuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkkkkk!!!

I jus poured my cells into the waste container.. I was supposed to remove the supernatant, but instead, I dumped the whole thing. Why did the good lord make me such a moron?

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

californication

I met a girl from California.
Fascinating demographic.

I could leave it at that, for the above lines are fairly self-explanatory. But jus for fun, lemme entertain you a lil longer. Here's a sample of the conversation we had..

Me : you wanna get some food?
her: yeah.. wot do you kids eat in new york?
me : I dunno.. I guess we could get a bagel..
her: no way dude.. Peace to the Cho's.

Now.. lemme pause for a second to list out a few of the multitude of thoughts that passed through my mind when she said that

1. She's making a racist statement about the chinese.
2. She has no idea what I'm talking about.
3. She has no idea what a bagel is.
4. She's spazzing out, and said the first string of alphabets that came into her mind.

Needless to say, I was wrong on all four accounts. Cho's, in californian vernacular, is an acronym for CHO, or for the unintimated, carbohydrates.
Bagels, being made of bread, contain carbohydrates.
She, being californian, does not eat carbs (she actually eats very little of anything)

And now, I'm hungry. Peace to the Cho's.

biting the hand that feeds..

I got into a bit of a tiff the other day with co-president of our program. He's a very well known, respected, and well-published professor in the field of immunology, but the other day, he was pulling stuff out of his a** that I really didn't care for.
Unfortunately, I went into a bit of a tirade of how stupid his idea was.
Unfortunately, it was at an immunology group meeting, consisting of all immunology faculty.
Unfortunately, these people are dirctly responsible for the next 5 years of my life.

Fortunately, I sat down before I told him that if he had any idea how our program was run, he wouldn't have come up with such a ridiculous idea.

No harm was done.. but I'm sure the immunology group will now be wary of the otherwise unopinionated little graduate student.

the joys of 23

I jus realised that when my dad was 23, he got married.
I called my mum, and asked her if dad was anything like me when she married him.
she said..
"no.. give it another 10 years or so".

oversleeping

I dreamt that I overslept this morning. I jumped out of bed in a terrific hurry, showered, and while I was changing, noticed it was only 7 am.
Needless to say, I wasn't happy.

On an entirely different note, girls are weird. If I ever, ever understand them, it won't be a moment too soon.

God Save Japan

Every country should be able to stand up proudly infront of the other nations of the world and show off their ONE truly great contribution to society today.
I propose Japans greatest contribution..
Close runners up included SONY, the Toyota, sushi, the geisha, and the ever lovable pokemon..
However, all these could NOT compare with KARAOKE!
why, might you ask?
I just spent the last 4 hours in a karaoke bar singing a positively delicious assortment of songs which included the ever popular "Hit me baby one more time" by America's favourite mum, Britney Spears.. and old favourites like "I will survive" and "Total Eclipse of the Heart".
Any culture which could come up with words that move along the screen AND alcohol at the same time is truly one to be celebrated.
JAPAN... we love you :-)